Love On The Spectrum's Abbey: I Always Felt Alone - storybooth stars

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0:10hi I am Abby I was diagnosed with autism at Age 2 and a half life with autism has been very hard

0:18I want to start by telling you what it was like when I was younger when I was 3 years

0:22old I had something called ealia where you have no connection to words and just repeat things you

0:28hear one day my mom asked me what would you like for lunch hot dogs or peanut butter and I said

0:35hot dogs or peanut butter then I went to school and I didn't talk to the other kids because I

0:41didn't know how and I sat alone it was almost like I didn't see them because of the way my

0:47mind worked and I put everything in my mouth they called my mom up and said they couldn't

0:52guarantee my safety so I was not allowed to go to preschool unless I had nid I had a teacher

0:58named Miss Beverly she didn't didn't understand autism she didn't want to learn about autism and

1:03wasn't willing to learn about how some kids like me are different we learn different we hear things

1:08differently and sometimes we have to move around a lot Miss Beverly wanted things the way she had

1:14always done them like for example Beverly would ask the kids to line up she had all the girls

1:20line up then all the boys then at the end of the boy line she made me line up with my Aid because

1:25I was different this made me feel uncomfortable and very sad feeling like I don't fit in feeling

1:31left out and wishing I was like everyone else and I wish my brain would do what I was telling it to

1:36do in elementary school I was more aware of the other kids and that I was different it was hard

1:42to talk to the other kids because I couldn't get the words out sometimes my words would get stuck

1:47and then the other kids didn't want to talk to me because I couldn't answer and I had a hard

1:52time focusing and staying on topic this made me very sad and I became jealous of typical kids

1:57because they could do things that I couldn't this is when I learned to identify with Ariel Ariel was

2:04a mermaid living in a world alone she wanted to be with the people and when she finally became human

2:09she couldn't talk that's how I felt I felt very isolated and alone that is why mermaids and Ariel

2:17are still important to me today Ariel says I want to be where the people are and she says I want to

2:25be part of that world this was exactly how I felt too finally something that made me feel connected

2:33to the outside world I felt like I was Ariel today I have had 22 years of speech therapy and social

2:40skills to learn to have conversations today and I never gave up when I think back about those times

2:46it makes me remember how alone I was and how I was not part of the world I have to remember who

2:51I am today it's like when Mufasa says to Simba remember who you are I can't think of anything

2:59that means means more to me than feeling like part of this world without friends you really can't do

3:04that and just because some people need to practice more than others that's okay we are all different

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