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Zombie Survival. Your Fantasy is a DELUSION - Video học tiếng Anh
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Zombie Survival. Your Fantasy is a DELUSION
Zombie Survival. Your Fantasy is a DELUSION
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Nobody is more ready for the zombie apocalypse than this guy. He’s got Berettas on his belt,
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side, and ankles - plus a Mossberg shotgun, a Steyr TMP, and an AK-47 slung across his
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back. He’s got hundreds of rounds in his backpack. And he can fire all day.
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Right up until he gets cornered by a horde
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of zombies and realizes he picked the absolute worst time to reload…
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This is everything people get wrong about zombie apocalypses.
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15:
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We’ve all had the apocalypse fantasy: Mowing through waves of groaning Z’s with our modified
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set of wheels, maybe even a battering ram on the grille. But we’re sorry to burst your Mad
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Max bubble - driving wouldn’t be practical for long in a zombie apocalypse scenario.
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And that fantasy dies fast - because fuel dies faster.
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Even if your vehicle gets amazing mileage, you’ll still need gas eventually. And without
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the daily refueling trucks that keep stations stocked, those underground tanks run dry fast.
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So in the short term, your ‘wasteland ride” is going to be empty with nowhere to fill up.
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And things get even worse.
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Gasoline has a shelf life. Sitting in the engine of an inert car, you can expect it to stay good
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for about a few months. In a jerry can under ideal conditions, you’re still only looking at 6 months,
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at best. So soon enough, everyone is gonna be going at it on foot, or dusting off their old BMX.
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But even if you were sitting on top of an oil refinery when the dead began to rise, it probably
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still wouldn’t do you much good. With everyone fleeing the cities and abandoning cars the second
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the hordes show up, most major highways would turn into solid parking lots. Traveling by vehicle
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would be a massive pain - and it’d trigger a whole chain of other problems we’ll get to later.
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And once everyone’s stuck on foot, the world doesn’t just get dangerous. It gets disgusting…
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14:
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Your average American throws out 4.9 pounds (2.2 kg) of trash per day - that’s almost
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1,800 pounds (816 kg) per person every year. You’re protected from the worst of this by
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the tireless efforts of garbage men every single day. But in a zombie apocalypse,
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nobody’s coming to collect the trash. Sure, there’d be slightly less trash - zombies don’t
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generate much food waste and they’re not exactly big on single-use plastics - but
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for the survivors, the streets would still be absolutely buried in junk and debris.
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But the trash is just the opening act.
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When the power grid goes out - more on that later - you’ll be seeing fridges and freezers
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across the nation fail. Not only would this mean rotting and festering food in every American home,
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it’d also mean that all supermarkets would quickly become revolting biohazards.
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You’d also see some revolting problems bubble up from below. In a zombie apocalypse,
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people are too busy running from the Walking Dead to continue their jobs in
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sewer line maintenance. The resulting strain on this system would turn an
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apocalypse into an Apoo-calypse, adding a lovely fecal perfume to the stench of
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rotting corpses… and the eye-watering BO of people who haven’t showered in weeks.
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And if you think that smells bad, wait until the modern world shuts off completely.
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13: You don’t see this much in zombie movies or games,
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but in real life, you’d lose everything within days of the dead rising en masse.
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That’s because the power grid can fail in a huge variety of ways - even when the professionals
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tasked with maintaining it aren’t drooling for the brains of their former co-workers.
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And once it inevitably goes down, there’s realistically no one left to turn it back on.
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So unless you’re in a fortified base with solar power and the ability to fix it when it breaks,
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get used to reading by candlelight. No movies. No games. No phones. No streetlights.
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And the moment the lights go out, you’re not
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just fighting zombies anymore. You’re fighting your own body.
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12:
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Whether it’s the soldiers and the Jimmies from the 28 Days Later franchise, Negan and the
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Governor in The Walking Dead, or the cannibals in The Last of Us - there’s always some pack of
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cultists and warlords ready to prove that classic zombie cliche: the humans are the real monsters.
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But it turns out, all the would-be warlords would probably end up being zombie food while normal
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people cooperate and help each other. Humans are social animals, and major studies from both
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Harvard and Yale show that people tend to help each other in the midst of crisis. Psychologists
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have also found that tragedy often leads to unity among those affected. Scott T. Allison,
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Professor of Psychology at the University of Richmond, has argued that chaotic nightmare
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scenarios actually create the perfect conditions for ordinary people to step up and become leaders.
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But don’t get too optimistic. Because once society collapses
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even a tiny injury can turn into a death sentence.
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11:
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We’ll get onto the nature of the zombie virus itself soon, but it’s more mundane diseases,
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viruses, and infections that will be likely to cause you trouble during a zombie apocalypse.
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Clearly, the American healthcare system isn’t great as is, but in the post-apocalypse,
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you won’t be able to find a doctor or access to over the counter medicine if you get sick.
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Getting bitten by a zombie is one thing, but what if you sprain your ankle? There’s
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nothing guaranteeing you’ll be able to find painkillers. Or worse, what if you get a wound
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that actually breaks the skin? Unless you can properly bind and disinfect the wound,
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you’re at risk of infection, and that infection can very easily become fatal.
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During the US Civil War - one of the most violent periods in American history - roughly
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two out of every three deaths came from disease, not bullets. And in a
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zombie-infested world with no hospitals, that’s the rulebook we’re playing by now.
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But it’s not just disease, it’s also a matter of nutrition.
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If you’re a subsistence hunter who already lives off the land, this part doesn’t apply
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to you. But for the rest of us that only hunt our food through the aisles of supermarkets or in the
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Mickey D’s drive thru, the zombie apocalypse is gonna be tough. As we’ve already established,
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supermarkets would very quickly become rotten, vermin-infested hellscapes, and when
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our supplies of tinned goods run out, it’s time to look for our meat and vegetables elsewhere.
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And yes, you’re going to need to eat your vegetables in the apocalypse. If you’ve got
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that solar-powered fort we mentioned earlier, you might be able to grow crops… assuming you
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actually have the know-how and gear - which is a pretty big ‘if.’ But if you’re a wandering
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wasteland nomad who doesn’t want to die of scurvy, you’d better start learning which
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wild plants are safe to eat. Because the only thing more embarrassing than getting
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eaten by zombies… is getting eaten by zombies while you’ve got mushroom-induced diarrhea.
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And if you think that’s bleak, wait until you
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realize zombie infection is the easy version of disease.
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10:
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In most zombie movies and games, the virus spreads through bites or other bodily fluids,
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has an incubation period anywhere from seconds to a few days. Once you turn,
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you immediately go hunting healthy people to keep the infection rolling.
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As disease setups go, that’s not actually that bad.
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Real life doesn’t need bites to ruin you - from measles to flu to norovirus to tuberculosis,
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plenty of them have traits that the zombie virus don’t. For example, they create fomites,
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objects or surfaces where the virus can linger and infect others. But even worse, the pathogens go
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airborne - spreading in tiny, invisible particles through coughs and sneezes - during an incubation
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period where neither the infected nor the newly infected even knows they’re sick yet.
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Or let’s even take another disease spread directly through bodily fluids,
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like HIV. It’s so feared because it can incubate for years - meaning someone might stay sexually
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active and pass it on long before they show any obvious symptoms. By comparison, the symptoms
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of turning into a zombie are always extremely noticeable, so the uninfected keep their distance.
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For another point of comparison, take Ebola, a dangerous virus that’s killed thousands in
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West Africa and is a favorite of tabloid fearmongers. But it never blossomed into
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the next global pandemic, mainly because its symptoms are extremely obvious,
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and it usually spreads through direct contact with bodily fluids - something most people can avoid.
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With zombies, dodging a growling nightmare monster trying to bite
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your face off is honestly way easier than avoiding an invisible airborne
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infection from the guy coughing 2 feet (0.6 meters) away on your morning commute.
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But don’t relax yet. Because even if zombies aren’t realistically contagious,
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the apocalypse itself is.
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9:
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In the US, natural disasters kill from 40,000 to 50,000 Americans per year, between floods,
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droughts, earthquakes, hurricanes, tornados, and fires. And that’s with local authorities,
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advanced warning systems, and relief efforts of organizations like FEMA
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and the Red Cross - none of which would be in play after the zombie apocalypse.
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The result would be the natural disasters that are already causing us horrific loss of life,
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and are trending in a worse direction thanks to climate change. It would be even more ruinous in
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the zombie apocalypse. You’d likely be looking at hundreds of thousands
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of deaths from natural disasters alone each year, at a conservative estimate.
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And somehow, that’s still not the scariest part.
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8:
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You might think that one of the few fringe benefits of society collapsing
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from the zombie horde would be no longer needing to fill in a W2 and figure out
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whether your zombie-murdering hammer is a valid tax-deductible expense. But we have
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pretty good reasons to believe that the Tax Man would still be wandering the wasteland,
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ready to audit the hell out of you if he suspects you’ve been hiding your bottlecaps.
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This isn’t just Sovereign Citizen Paranoia here, either.
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Since the Cold War, the IRS has put a plan in place to ensure that collection could
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resume as quickly as twelve hours after the events of a nuclear war. And trust
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us when we say a nuclear war would be a lot worse than zombies roaming the streets. So,
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you better hope that somehow, H&R Block and TurboTax have survived the zombie menace, too.
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And if that didn’t ruin your day enough, here’s the part zombie games can’t simulate.
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7:
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Resident Evil, The Last of Us, Dead Rising, DayZ,
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even the gloriously cheesy House of the Dead. There’s no denying that playing a
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zombie-killing video game is fun. And what could be more satisfying than scoring a gloriously
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meaty headshot against a Zom that thought it was gonna turn you into its midnight snack?
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This is where the sobering dose of reality comes in.
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During a real zombie apocalypse scenario, the undead or infected
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you’re putting to rest wouldn’t be a selection of procedurally generated zombie character models.
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They’ll be your friends, your neighbors, your co-workers, maybe even your family,
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if you’re really unlucky. So while it’s fun to be an ace zombie killer in the world of video games,
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in real life, you could expect a heaping dose of PTSD to go along with every notch on your belt.
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And that’s not the only way the apocalypse would mess with your head.
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6:
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Conspiracy theorists would have a field day. Maybe you’d say:
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“But videos of zombies attacking and feasting on people in the streets would be undeniable!”
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And that’s just flat-out wrong.
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We live in a post AI world, there are probably relatively realistic videos of
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Elon Musk using a lightsaber and Kim Jong Un breakdancing to Chappel Roan
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songs with Vladimir Putin. Plenty of people out there wouldn’t believe zombies were real
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or a problem until the undead were bashing down their door, and by then, it’s already too late.
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And it’s not just conspiracy theorists, either.
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5:
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This is another one of those things that you’d never see featured in a movie or video game,
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because it seems just plain tedious - but it’s something
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that in real life would be a huge problem.
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Do you know how to darn a worn-out sock? Or knit new ones from scratch? Yeah… didn’t think so.
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But considering we’ve already established that you’ll be walking everywhere, unless you’ve got
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some Doc Martens or high-end work boots, you’d be busting your socks and shoes in no time.
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Then you’re rolling the dice.
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Will you be risking your life to raid shoe stores in the hopes that they have your size,
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or, even grosser, will you be peeling the boots off of every corpse you find,
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in hopes that they’ll also fit you? Seems like a loser’s game,
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no matter how you slice it, and it’s an apocalypse problem you’d never see coming.
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And once your feet are wrecked,
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it gets even worse - because you can’t carry your entire life on your back.
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4:
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Everyone knows bullets don’t weigh anything in video games, and thankfully,
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you’ll find them on most corpses - or in vases if you’re playing Resident Evil.
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In real life? Not so much.
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Your average common infantry marine will carry up to 70 pounds (31 kg) of gear. And they have
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access to vehicles, support, and are in the peak of physical fitness. Are you?
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In an apocalypse, if you’re a nomad on foot,
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everything you own has to come with you - clothes, weapons, food, water, ammo,
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survival gear - and every new item becomes a stressful, life-or-death tradeoff. A few extra
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rounds of ammo or more emergency water? These inventory management choices are life or death,
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especially if you’ve got a horde on your tail. Thankfully, you’ve got an unexpected ally…
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3:
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Every zombie media fan knows that there are two main types: Undead zombies - think George
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Romero - and Infected Zombies - 28 Days Later. Both have unique advantages and
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drawbacks. One that you might not expect for both, but mainly the undead zombies,
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is that nature would basically reject these guys in a variety of ways.
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Humidity would hasten decomposition, meaning that these marching death machines would quickly get
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mushy. Bugs would also see them as a feast, and if the virus or other force animating them isn’t
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zoonotic, this won’t have any health implications for the rest of us. Rotting corpses also wouldn’t
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heal, meaning any injury they sustained in combat would only get worse over time,
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just as muscle atrophy would make them get slowly weaker. Tooth damage from both natural decay and
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violence would make their only means of passing on the undead plague less effective over time.
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While all of the rotting stuff would be less of an issue for
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the more modern Infected style zombies, they might have an even bigger problem…
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2:
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Anyone else rooting for zombie-on-zombie violence? Because honestly, this is one of
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the biggest plot conveniences in zombie media - added purely because if you think about it,
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it would stop most zombie apocalypses from ever starting in the first place.
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Think about it… if a disease drives you violently insane, why would you
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suddenly have the self-control to only attack healthy people… and
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ignore the other screaming maniacs right next to you?
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Realistically, you’d never see hordes of zombies like this, because in their blind fury,
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they’d wipe each other out. Any excuse of “the virus drives them to infected healthy victims”
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is just another piece of artistic license. It treats a virus like some kind of sentient
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hivemind rather than brainless microorganisms that just produce consistent symptoms.
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It’s almost a little disappointing,
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but not nearly as disappointing as our ultimate zombie revelation…
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1:
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Who hasn’t dreamed of slicing through zombies with a katana? It’s a fantasy in every zombie
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survivalist’s heart to take on the undead Samurai-style. But according to some experts,
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that’d be more likely to get us killed than make us a zombie slaying god.
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Like all weapons, katanas are most dangerous in the hands of experts. Even if you do know
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what you’re doing, they can’t always reliably even cut through tatami mats, which aren’t
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moving and trying to kill you. If surrounded by a group of zombies, you’re most likely to
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get your sword stuck in the body of the first one you try to slice while the others eat you alive.
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And even if you do get to fulfil your fantasy of taking on a single zombie with a katana,
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and slice off its head in a single strike, congratulations,
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you’re now covered in infected blood. We just hope it was worth it.
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Now go check out “Why a Zombie Apocalypse Is Inevitable”, or watch this instead!
