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Stress Resets, the Ultimate Mental Health Hack | Jenny Taitz | TED - Video học tiếng Anh
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Stress Resets, the Ultimate Mental Health Hack | Jenny Taitz | TED
Stress Resets, the Ultimate Mental Health Hack | Jenny Taitz | TED
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Phụ đề (209)
0:03
Let me invite you into my house.
0:06
It probably looks a little like yours.
0:09
So one morning, rushing to feed our crying toddler,
0:14
my husband Adam drops a gallon of milk.
0:17
He is so mad, he starts aggressively cleaning
0:22
and cuts his hand under the fridge.
0:24
He's bleeding, hates blood, and we're out of bandages.
0:29
So he drives to the pharmacy.
0:31
On his way home,
0:33
He rear-ends an Uber.
0:35
All before breakfast.
0:38
That's stress.
0:39
It’s a little hilarious
0:41
but mostly heartbreaking.
0:44
When what we're facing feels like too much,
0:46
spilled milk becomes a flood,
0:49
a headache at work spills into heartache at home.
0:52
Stress doesn't just happen.
0:54
It's something we easily co-create, then spread like the flu.
1:00
But here's the good news.
1:02
If you can create stress,
1:03
you can also learn to reset it in minutes.
1:07
No long meditations, medications or martinis required.
1:14
Just shifts in your mind, body and behavior.
1:19
I call these pivots stress resets,
1:23
and I love them so much,
1:24
I wrote a book highlighting 75 of my favorites.
1:28
We will cover them all -- I wish.
1:31
As a clinical psychologist,
1:33
I've taught thousands of people how to ease intense emotions in crises,
1:38
helping clients transform from wanting to die
1:41
to building lives they cherish.
1:44
And I rely on these tools myself,
1:46
whether I'm trying to get my three young kids to bed,
1:50
a live-action version of Whac-A-Mole,
1:53
or when I'm struggling to find the words to write a eulogy
1:57
hours after losing one of my closest friends.
2:00
Of course, stressing over spilled milk
2:04
isn't worrying that AI will hijack your career
2:07
or facing a cancer diagnosis.
2:10
A reset won't turn awful into awesome,
2:13
but it will let you ditch hopelessness and bring the best of you forward,
2:17
sparking that priceless feeling of knowing you can count on yourself.
2:23
The secret?
2:24
Practicing stress resets in ordinary moments
2:27
allows you to reach for them when life feels unbearable.
2:31
You might be wondering:
2:33
Can you even feel better if your challenges aren’t disappearing?
2:37
Absolutely.
2:39
Stress is less about what you're facing
2:42
and more about believing you can cope.
2:44
This isn't positivity.
2:45
This is regulating your nervous system,
2:48
framing stress as an opportunity for growth
2:52
and accepting sensations, even knots in your stomach,
2:54
lowers cortisol and allows you to persevere.
2:58
What moves me most is
3:00
research finds even refugees and asylum seekers
3:04
grappling with being forcibly displaced can improve their mental health
3:08
by learning strategies similar to ones we'll cover.
3:12
If peace of mind is possible in political limbo,
3:15
it's definitely possible in your daily hustle.
3:18
Yet we create fender benders.
3:21
Short on money, we shop online.
3:24
Big deadline, we bounce between procrastination and perfectionism.
3:28
Tired and lonely, we scroll at midnight.
3:33
Why?
3:34
Because when emotions spike, clarity vanishes.
3:38
We want relief now, so we turn to habits that hurt
3:41
or reach for substances like alcohol, cannabis or Xanax
3:45
that shrink our ability to think when we deserve to be our sharpest.
3:50
To bypass suffering, normalize your feelings.
3:54
No matter how hard things seem,
3:56
emotions and urges are waves.
3:58
They'll pass without you escaping in ways that undermine you.
4:02
You know if you scroll TikTok,
4:04
you can tear up, then smile within seconds.
4:09
The problem isn't feeling, it's ruminating.
4:11
Taking a two-minute interaction and replaying it for days,
4:14
turning stress into a chronic problem.
4:17
Ruminating was my specialty before I learned to reset.
4:21
And you can too, with three stress resets to reclaim your resilience.
4:26
One: learn to play with your thoughts.
4:30
Let's say you just experienced rejection.
4:33
That's disappointing enough.
4:35
Then your mind has the nerve to send the emotional equivalent of spam,
4:39
"You're gonna die alone."
4:40
(Laughter)
4:42
Almost everyone has repetitive negative thoughts,
4:45
and life is too precious
4:46
to take all the 6,000 thoughts we have a day, literally.
4:50
So rather than letting your spam sap your brainpower,
4:54
try seeing it like you'd see blimps in the sky
4:58
or singing it to your favorite upbeat tune.
5:04
It sounds silly, but when you play with your unhelpful thoughts,
5:07
you loosen their grip.
5:09
If you want to be more all encompassing, do you remember that song,
5:12
"What is love? Baby, don't hurt me."
5:15
Can we all please join together at the count of three,
5:18
singing "What are thoughts? Thoughts can't hurt me."
5:21
OK.
5:23
(Singing) What are our thoughts?
5:25
Thoughts can't hurt me.
5:27
Thank you, that was amazing.
5:29
(Laughter)
5:30
Even if you don't actually sing,
5:33
changing your relationship with your insulting inner soundtrack
5:36
and replacing dead ends with next steps
5:39
will let you live more harmoniously.
5:41
Good luck ruminating while you're singing, right?
5:45
Two: try a half-smile.
5:49
Dialectical behavior therapists prescribe subtly smiling
5:53
even when you don't actually feel happy.
5:56
See, your face doesn't just reflect how you feel.
5:58
It shapes your emotional experience.
6:01
Research shows that Botox that prevents scowling improves mood.
6:05
(Laughter)
6:06
No need to freeze your forehead.
6:09
Half-smiling is your free and natural version.
6:13
Try being miserable or battling road rage
6:17
with a resting Buddha face.
6:19
(Laughter)
6:22
Seriously,
6:24
it primes you to accept whatever is,
6:26
preventing you from adding a tension headache
6:28
to everything else you're carrying.
6:31
To be clear, this is not about faking happiness
6:34
when you're legitimately upset.
6:36
It's about letting your physiology boost your bandwidth.
6:40
Plus, it can help foster connections with others,
6:42
especially if your face otherwise looks like a big Do Not Disturb sign.
6:46
(Laughter)
6:48
Let's give half smiling a try.
6:51
Anybody feeling more serene?
6:54
Now turn to the person next to you, and give them a little smile.
6:58
You guys have such nice half smiles.
7:00
How does that feel?
7:02
(Laughter)
7:05
Your body is a walking pharmacy if you know how to use it.
7:10
Three: act opposite to how you feel.
7:14
Notice how when you’re anxious, you avoid.
7:16
When you’re depressed, you lay low.
7:18
When you’re angry, you yell?
7:20
Acting exactly the way you feel when you’re totally overwhelmed
7:23
amplifies negativity and piles on guilt and shame.
7:27
If you want to upgrade your mood, and how you live your life,
7:32
the third tool is to notice your emotion-driven urge;
7:36
ask yourself if acting on it is ultimately helpful.
7:40
If not, do the opposite.
7:43
So if you're grumpy and want to send a hostile text,
7:47
how about either sending a nice one to someone who needs it
7:51
or stowing your phone?
7:53
Anybody procrastinate, you've got pressing to-dos
7:55
yet suddenly it's time to empty your inbox?
7:58
That’s pseudo-productivity or procrastivity.
8:02
The opposite action,
8:04
lovingly bringing your full attention to the task that matters most,
8:07
again and again.
8:09
Opposite action isn't superficial.
8:12
It changes the way you see yourself.
8:15
What's the ultimate mental health hack?
8:17
Regularly practicing opposite action.
8:20
It improves depression and anxiety in weeks.
8:25
If stress tries to convince you opposite action is impossible action,
8:30
or insists that you're just not the karaoke type,
8:33
keep a Hope Kit, a collection of items that elevates your mood within reach.
8:38
It can have anything in it that propels you forward.
8:41
These are shown to generate real hope.
8:45
This is mine.
8:46
As you can see,
8:47
it has pictures of my grandparents holding me as a little girl,
8:50
cards from clients,
8:52
a playlist with some dance-worthy Drake music
8:55
and a note to myself to always be a light.
8:58
What belongs in yours?
9:01
After savoring these reminders, consider:
9:04
hope isn’t just a feeling,
9:05
it’s a behavior you spread,
9:07
touching the lives of the people you love
9:09
and anyone you encounter.
9:12
Stress doesn’t have to scar you,
9:14
and you don't have to spill it onto others.
9:17
Spilled milk or something stickier,
9:19
stress isn't what happens.
9:21
It's what you do next.
9:23
Creating perspective,
9:25
finding calm within you
9:27
and doing what matters will reset your stress,
9:30
your life, and maybe the world.
9:32
Thank you.
9:34
(Applause)
9:37
Joey Katona: How's my half smile?
9:39
JT: So beautiful.
9:40
(Laughter)
9:42
JK: Jenny, if stress is something that we co-create, as you say,
9:46
what's just one behavior that you would urge us all to stop doing tomorrow
9:51
so that we stop passing it on?
9:54
Jenny Taitz: I love this, and I love acronyms.
9:56
So one of my favorite acronyms is STOP.
10:00
Slow down. Take a step back. Observe. And proceed mindfully.
10:06
We can create so much damage if we're going 100 miles an hour,
10:10
but so much less if we're going five miles an hour.
10:12
When our emotional mind is on fire, it's so hard to think clearly.
10:17
But we're so good at getting better with the right tools,
10:20
and STOP is like a quick one.
10:21
Like nothing happens if you slow things down,
10:24
less happens.
10:25
JK: Another round of applause for Dr. Jenny Taitz.
10:28
(Applause)
