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The secret to better conversations? Stop waiting for your turn to speak #TEDTalks
The secret to better conversations? Stop waiting for your turn to speak #TEDTalks
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Imagine trying to listen to a song while
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singing a different song in your head.
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You can't do it or you can't do it well.
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And you can't fully appreciate what
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someone else is saying if you're
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thinking about something else. And I
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hate to say it, but between our phones
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and our smartwatches and just our own
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wandering thoughts, it's easy to get
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distracted and we tend to listen to
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other people that way, too. I'm also a
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big believer in the power of non-verbal
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communication.
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Like just a simple act of a nod is a way
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to let the other person know that you're
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engaged and also invites them to keep
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going and say more. That kind of
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intentional engaged silence
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makes space for them. That also means
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turning off the instinct to talk about
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yourself. I used to think that this was
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actually the best way to show that I was
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really listening. Someone would tell me
0:49
something and I'd say, "Oh man, you
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know, that reminds me of this thing that
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happened to me." and then I would tell a
0:54
whole story of my own. It's kind of like
0:57
listening to half a song and then
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saying, "Oh, you know, this part reminds
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me of this other song." And then turning
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that first song off and going and
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putting on some other song, which is
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also something I've done. But you can't
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get deeper if you lose the moment like
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that. So, it's a challenge to your
1:11
impatience and to your selfishness to be
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engaged without making it about
