My Bank Called In the Middle of My Ted Talk | Mike Albo | TED

Chọn chế độ học:

Highlight:

3000 Oxford Words4000 IELTS Words5000 Oxford Words3000 Common Words1000 TOEIC Words5000 TOEFL Words

Phụ đề (143)

0:04Hi.

0:06Hello, hi, TED people.

0:10I'm Mike Albo.

0:11I'm so excited to be here in Hotlanta.

0:14(Laughter)

0:15Do they still call it that, or is that insulting?

0:20I'm sorry.

0:22Anyway, I'm here to talk about our smartphones

0:25and how they control our ...

0:28Oh, dear.

0:30Oh, gosh, I just got a really alarming text from my bank.

0:35Do you mind if I just -- ?

0:37This will just take a second, I'm sorry.

0:39(Machine) Hello.

0:41Thank you for calling American Bank.

0:42For English, please press 1.

0:44(Spanish) For Spanish, please press 2.

0:47To report a card lost or stolen,

0:49or to report suspicious activity on your account,

0:52press 1.

0:53We are experiencing heavy traffic.

0:55Please hold for the next available representative.

0:58Your call is --

1:01Danny: Hello, thank you for calling American Bank. This is Danny.

1:04How may I help you?

1:05Mike Albo: Hi, I just received a text

1:06that there's a foreign charge on my account.

1:09D: Yes, I'll be happy to assist you with that, Mr. Albo.

1:11May I have the last four digits of your social security number?

1:14MA: 1734.

1:16D: Thank you, Mr. Albo.

1:18Yes, it appears there has been some suspicious activity.

1:21To validate your account,

1:22I will need to confirm recent transactions over the last 24 hours.

1:25Is that OK with you, Mr. Albo?

1:27MA: Yes.

1:30D: Did you purchase a smoothie in Philadelphia

1:32yesterday at 6am for $1.50?

1:35MA: Weird, no.

1:38D: Did you purchase a bubble tea

1:39in Puerto Vallarta today at 8am for $0.00?

1:43MA: I did not.

1:44D: Did you purchase a chopped salad

1:46in Toronto yesterday at 8:30am for $0.37?

1:50MA: I did not.

1:51D: OK, yes, it seems your account has been hacked.

1:54If you allow me to continue with your transactions over the last 24 hours,

1:58Mr. Albo, just to make sure.

2:00MA: OK.

2:01(Whispering) Sorry.

2:02D: Did you purchase two organic chicken breasts,

2:04brown rice and a head of broccoli at Whole Foods for $28.11

2:08at 4:59pm yesterday?

2:10MA: Yes, I know, so expensive.

2:13D: Did you purchase a bottle of wine for $11.50

2:16at Smith Street Wine and Liquor at 5:12pm yesterday?

2:20MA: Yes.

2:22D: And then did you purchase drinks at Loco Coco Saloon for $14

2:27at 5:35pm?

2:29MA: No.

2:30Wait.

2:31Oh, yeah, I was with this guy, Jeff.

2:33I was trying to meet someone in public before I --

2:35Anyway, yes.

2:37D: Did you purchase a monthly membership renewal on Grindr?

2:41MA: Yeah.

2:43D: Did you purchase an auto-renewal membership on Scruff?

2:46MA: Yes, I must have.

2:49D: Then at 9:30pm, did you purchase another bottle of wine

2:52from Vino Nino Wine Company on Atlantic Avenue?

2:55MA: Yes.

2:57D: And did you do this

2:59because you didn't want the guys at Smith Street Wine

3:01to see you buying more wine on the same day?

3:03MA: Yes, but --

3:05D: And did you go home and eat while standing up at the sink?

3:08MA: Yes, I did, but how did you know that?

3:10D: And then did you order "Call Me By Your Name"

3:12on iTunes for $7.99

3:14and then finally watch it because you have avoided watching it

3:18because as a gay man pushing 50,

3:19you don't want to get upset seeing young, gorgeous men in love?

3:22MA: Yes, I did.

3:24(Laughter)

3:26D: And then at the end, did you burst into tears,

3:28but then go look in the mirror to see how you look

3:30when you cry shirtless and then purchase a Peloton membership?

3:33MA: Yes.

3:35D: And then did you take a photo of your torso in the mirror

3:38because you realized your abs look good when you are heaving with tears?

3:42MA: Yes.

3:43D: Did you pick up your phone for the 800th time that day,

3:46empty of emotion but still feeling a deep, lonely ache?

3:50MA: Yes.

3:52D: And scroll through Scruff having a number of pointless conversations

3:56with headless torsos --

3:57MA: Yes.

3:58D: Drinking your previously purchased wine until you were so sloshed --

4:02MA: Yes.

4:03D: And you cried by yourself, no one else there, just you,

4:06a low-income, single gay man that no one wants to hear from in society

4:10since you are over 40 and make less than $30,000 a year?

4:14MA: Yes.

4:15D: And then did you pass out,

4:16staring at yet another hot man on your screen

4:18you will never meet in person,

4:20and then wake up and look at your phone

4:22and realize with horror that you are late to get to the airport

4:25to go to Atlanta for this TED Next event?

4:27MA: I did.

4:29D: And barely got to the airport on time and landed in Atlanta,

4:32got to the Uber and checked Scruff and Grindr again

4:35to see if there are any hot guys in Atlanta,

4:37because this town is indeed full of very sexy men?

4:40MA: I did, I did, and they are, they are.

4:42(Laughter)

4:44D: And then you got to the venue and ran out of the Uber

4:47and rushed backstage with your phone in your hand

4:49and brought it up on stage with you

4:51and then just now, walking on stage,

4:54looked down again to see if there were any hot guys

4:56to meet right here in the audience

4:58and saw that we,

4:59American Bank,

5:01had contacted you by text

5:03to ask about potential fraudulent purchases on your account.

5:06MA: I did, I did.

5:10D: Well, Mr. Albo, it seems your transactions are in order.

5:13We will cancel the card,

5:14and you can expect a new one in the next six to 10 business days.

5:17MA: Six to 10 business days?

5:20D: Is there anything else I can help you with?

5:22MA: No, thanks, Danny.

5:24D: Thank you, Mr. Albo.

5:25We very much appreciate your continued patronage

5:27of American Bank.

5:29Also, you are a drunk, gay tramp.

5:31Goodbye.

5:32MA: Hey.

5:34Well, I guess I am.

5:36Oh, and my time's out.

5:37Well, thank you.

5:40(Cheers and applause)

Luyện nghe

My Bank Called In the Middle of My Ted Talk | Mike Albo | TED

Highlight: