Subtitles (148)
0:01What's up, Bull Bags? I'm Roy Ch
0:02>> and I'm Michael Costa. This is Sports
0:04War, the show where we are legally not
0:06allowed to agree with each other. So, if
0:08I say Indiana winning the national
0:10championship was the most surprising
0:12sports story of all time. Then I say,
0:14uh, hello. Are you forgetting OJ?
0:17Nothing was more surprising than his
0:20infamous 2,000yard rushing season. That
0:23was not the most surprising thing OJ has
0:25ever done. And this is true. He once
0:27murdered his audition for the naked gun
0:30allegedly. But let's move on to even
0:33bigger football news because Super Bowl
0:35LX is set. The Seattle Seahawks and the
0:38New England Patriots now headed to the
0:42>> Pats fans are dancing in the snow fil
0:44>> There are a lot of fried vocal cords in
0:47>> Two teams from opposite coast ready to
0:50face off in football's biggest game.
0:53>> Yes, it's the Seahawks versus the
0:55Patriots. Seattle versus New England,
0:58Starbucks versus Duncan. Point is, I am
1:01 myself with excitement and
1:02neither will give me the bathroom code.
1:04Ronnie, who do you like? Well, Costa, I
1:07got go with uh Seattle for pretty
1:09obvious reasons because that is where
1:12Frraasier lived in his hit sitcom
1:16Ronnie, that is the dumbest reason to
1:18support Seattle. I'm all in on New
1:21England for one simple reason. Boston is
1:23where Frasier lived in the hit sitcom
1:31Costa, sounds like we got ourselves a
1:38Of course, this is a rematch of the 2015
1:41Frasier Bowl. And if it's anything like
1:43that game, by the fourth quarter, those
1:45players brains will be tossed salad and
1:47scrambled eggs. And I'm here for it. Any
1:50non-phrasia based analysis of the game
1:55>> Great. And that brings us to our BB
1:57network better tonight. What song will
2:00Bad Bunny perform with Kelsey Grammar
2:01during this year's halftime show?
2:03Brought to you by gambling. Gambling
2:10Moving on from pigkin to whatever animal
2:13hockey pucks are made from. The NHL is
2:15seeing a huge resurgence thanks to one
2:18unlikely bedfellow. The show heated
2:21rivalry, which we've been talking about
2:23all morning, being credited with a surge
2:25in interest for hockey tickets. Stub
2:29says there has been a 40% spike. 40% in
2:32NHL searches since that show debuted.
2:37This is fantastic news. Now, I haven't
2:40watched heated heated rivalry, but I
2:42love any show about hockey. I can't wait
2:45to meet these characters and their
2:51>> Yeah, Costa, I have some bad news for
2:54you. The on-screen hockey in this show
2:57>> What? Well, at least tell me the
3:00>> OF COURSE THEY ARE.
3:01>> GREAT. THEN I'M BACK IN. I was sick of
3:04having to watch hockey and gay porn on
3:06two different screens at the same time.
3:09This is much more efficient and it's
3:11great for hockey fans. Uh, wrong. It is
3:15awful for hockey fans in the stands like
3:17me. All right, because now when I kiss
3:19random men on the kiss cam, people will
3:21think I'm gay instead of just trying to
3:23start a fight. Which brings us to our
3:25LGBT bet of the night. Which gay actor
3:29will win NHL's most valuable player?
3:32Brought to you by gambling. Gambling,
3:35did you know you have unlimited plasma?
3:39Moving on, we are just days away from
3:41the Winter Olympics, the world's second
3:43favorite kind of Olympics. But it's
3:45never too early to start cheating.
3:48Norwegian ski jumpers have been
3:50suspended from the upcoming Winter
3:52Olympics after enlarging the crotch area
3:55of their uniform. Some ski jumpers go
3:58further using pumps to manipulate their
4:01crotch size so they can fly like a kite.
4:05What a disgrace. It's one thing to take
4:08steroids or gamble on your own games or
4:11hire your idiot boyfriend to take a pipe
4:13to your rival's knee, but lying about
4:15your dong size, that's where I draw a
4:18big veiny line. Well, an average size
4:24Imagine a purple spider web. Okay,
4:28Stop telling me about your dick. I
4:31prefer text. That way, it's searchable.
4:33First of all, if lying about your dick
4:36is a crime, then lock me and my massive
4:38hog right up. This is great for ski
4:42jumping. Okay, cuz I'm finally going to
4:44tune in. Now, instead of watching to see
4:46if the ski jumpers die, I'll be watching
4:48to see how big their digs are right
4:50before they die. Come on. Come on,
4:53Ronnie. Think of safety here. Some of
4:55these ski jumpers are inflating the size
4:57of their penises with hyaluronic acid.
4:59The only acid that should be anywhere
5:02near the penis is LSD. Trust me, I did
5:05it and I was soaring. A great eagle
5:09lifted me on its talons and carried me
5:11all the way to Saturn where the ghost of
5:12Benjamin Franklin shared with me the
5:14great universal truths. And when I
5:17awoke, I was in a camping tent filled
5:19with elderly Chinese tourists.
5:23Again, apologies to the Hang family for
5:25ruining their reunion.
5:28I don't know how to feel about that.
5:30Which brings us to our ski balls bell of
5:32the night. Will Olympic ski jumper Sven
5:35the duneworm Christianson take home the
5:37gold? Brought to you by gambling.
5:39Gambling. It's probably in the Bible.
5:42Well, that's all for this edition of
5:44Sports Word. Join us next time when
5:46we'll debate whether there should be an
5:49>> Oh, autumn Olympics. I would take a
5:50golden leaf peeping. NO QUESTION.
5:52>> YOU WOULDN'T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN
5:53A CHERRY TREE AND a cracking ass you.
5:55I'll kiss you. Yeah. All right.
