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Save It to Your Desktop! | Alan Resnick | TED
Save It to Your Desktop! | Alan Resnick | TED
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Legendas (251)
0:04
So I recently just completed a short film about computers,
0:09
and I'm very excited to be able to premiere it right now at TED.
0:12
(Cheers)
0:13
Let's take a look. Thank you.
0:14
(Soothing music)
0:30
(Screaming)
0:32
(Laughter)
0:35
Did that scare you?
0:36
(Laughter)
0:38
I think that's because computers actually are kind of scary, aren't they?
0:42
Hi, my name is Alan Resnick,
0:45
and if you don’t know me, I’m a bit of a “tech-head.”
0:48
What does that mean?
0:49
It means an average day for me is spent surfing the web,
0:52
checking my emails and just clicking on links.
0:55
That's sort of me in a nutshell.
0:57
And when I'm not doing that,
0:58
I tour the country, and I teach people how to use computers.
1:02
And the number one thing I've noticed all over
1:05
is that people are afraid of computers.
1:08
They're scared.
1:10
And don't get me started on the internet, you guys.
1:14
Has anyone here ever been online?
1:16
(Laughter)
1:17
Two, three hands.
1:19
You guys gotta get online.
1:21
It's incre --
1:22
I'm telling you,
1:23
there's some crazy stuff online, you guys.
1:26
I don't have time to get into it right now,
1:29
but they have photos and videos of people online,
1:32
and they're performing a kind of love that I am not comfortable with.
1:37
OK?
1:38
(Laughter)
1:39
And they have your data.
1:42
They do. These sick people have your data.
1:44
Are you comfortable with that? I'm not.
1:47
But I have a question for you guys, and it is a real question.
1:50
How do you use your computer?
1:52
How do you guys use your computers?
1:54
Just curious.
1:56
Can we get her a mic?
1:57
How do you use your computer?
2:00
Audience Member: Well, I usually use
2:01
my computer for work.
2:02
So emails and, you know, sending messages to folks.
2:05
Alan Resnick: No, stop. OK. Shut up. No.
2:07
OK. This is wrong.
2:09
(Laughter)
2:10
This is incorrect. I hate to say this, but you're using your computer wrong.
2:15
You know, not "use." I don't love that word "use."
2:18
We don't "use" computers, do we?
2:20
No. I think of computers a little like grandparents, actually.
2:24
You wouldn't use your grandmother, right?
2:26
(Laughter)
2:27
But your grandmother can make your life easier
2:30
if you use her properly.
2:32
So what is the proper way to use a computer?
2:35
Tonight I'm going to share with you my one simple trick
2:38
that's going to make your life a lot easier,
2:40
it's going to protect your data and it's going to calm you down.
2:43
OK, here it is.
2:44
(Clears throat)
2:46
(Whispers) Desktops.
2:49
Desktops.
2:51
What is he saying?
2:52
(Whispers) Desktop.
2:54
I can't hear him. What are you saying? I'm saying save it to your desktop!
2:57
It's as simple as that. Save it to your desktop.
3:00
OK? Yeah, we can clap for that.
3:01
That's pretty cool. That is pretty cool.
3:04
You're going, "Alan, it can't be that easy."
3:06
It is.
3:07
But before we can talk about desktops,
3:09
we have to talk about something else.
3:11
Look at this. Check this out. This is pretty cool.
3:15
Look at that. You see this?
3:17
My skin. Look at --
3:18
Whoa!
3:19
My skin is vibrating.
3:21
But it's vibrating -- it's very hard to tell.
3:24
It's hard to see. Here. This is vibrating, too.
3:26
But I think you'll be able to see this. Can you see that?
3:29
Light vibrates too.
3:30
Are you -- I need a response.
3:32
Can you see that? You can? OK.
3:34
(Laughter)
3:35
That's because of the eye-brain system.
3:38
The visible spectrum. Rods and cones. Rods and cones.
3:40
Rods and cones.
3:42
But my skin is vibrating, too.
3:44
But it vibrates at a rate that you can't see or perceive,
3:47
but dogs and pets can actually hear.
3:51
They hear our skin.
3:53
So I know you like to touch a little dog's head.
3:55
(Imitates barking)
3:56
But that passive action is actually causing them extreme inner ear pain,
4:00
so you shouldn't touch dogs.
4:02
(Laughter)
4:03
But here's what you didn't know.
4:07
My computer vibrates too.
4:09
Did you know that? Computers vibrate.
4:10
And they happen to vibrate at the exact opposite rate as human skin.
4:15
That's amazing.
4:16
So when you're working with a computer, those vibrations are phasing.
4:20
And when you touch a computer, you have a vibration rate of zero.
4:24
There is only one moment in every person's life
4:26
when they have a vibration rate of zero,
4:28
and that is on their fifth birthday, when they blow out the candle.
4:33
So you go on, "Alan, you convinced me."
4:35
If working with computers feels even half as good
4:37
as a little boy's birthday,
4:39
then sign me up.
4:40
The glove is off and we're ready to change our lives forever.
4:45
But how?
4:46
(Whispers) Desktops.
4:47
I already told you, desktops.
4:49
Save it to your desktop! I already said that.
4:51
Save it to your desktop. OK.
4:52
(Laughter)
4:53
I think you're ready.
4:57
Do you guys want to see my desktop?
4:58
Audience: Yes. Show me your desktop.
5:01
AR: I can’t hear you.
5:02
Do you guys want to see my desktop?
5:04
Come on! OK, let's do it!
5:06
Here we go. Let's get it booted up.
5:08
Here it is. It's my desktop.
5:11
Whoa!
5:12
That's amazing.
5:13
You're going, "Alan, I could never have something like that."
5:16
If you follow my simple rule, save it to your desktop,
5:19
you're not only going to have an awesome desktop,
5:21
you're actually going to have a wicked, awesome life.
5:24
Now check this out. This is cool.
5:25
The desktop --
5:28
is a little like my desk's top surface, right?
5:33
So I have file folders on the computer.
5:35
And guess what? I got them here too.
5:38
What kind of things can you save to your desktop? Anything.
5:40
You can have photos, emails, PDFs.
5:45
Those are like packets.
5:46
You can have movies, video games,
5:50
key codes, MP3s, zip disks.
5:54
These are all useful things that you can save to your desktop.
5:57
So it's sort of an organizational technique.
5:59
So I'll give you an example.
6:01
Let's say your dad emails you some pics of the lawn.
6:05
All you have to do is ...
6:07
OK. Yeah, you got to just save them to the desktop.
6:13
Just save those right to the desktop.
6:15
(Laughter)
6:17
And after you do that, you're going to want to print out a copy for yourself,
6:20
which you're going to place on your desk's top.
6:22
Can I get those photos? Where the heck are those photos?
6:25
Oh, thank you so much.
6:26
So --
6:28
This is cool.
6:30
So now you always know where everything is.
6:32
You're not going to lose anything.
6:34
I'll give you another example. I'm just going to pick a file at random.
6:37
Let's just pick a random file.
6:39
OK? Eeny meeny miny moe.
6:42
Catch a tiger by the t --
6:44
Oh.
6:47
This is a little embarrassing.
6:49
This is actually an old poem I wrote.
6:51
Egg on my face. It says,
6:53
"Why whisper when a yell can travel just as far?
6:57
A whisper yelled is a whisper heard."
7:00
Hmm.
7:02
(Laughter)
7:06
So where did I save that? Let's see. Where did I save that?
7:11
It looks like I put that on...
7:13
OK, that's C5, that's the bottom right corner of my desk.
7:19
(Laughter)
7:20
So it should be here.
7:23
Oh, Goddamn it!
7:25
Oh! Boom! Here it is!
7:26
Wow! You can clap for that. That's cool!
7:29
This is amazing. This is amazing.
7:30
(Applause)
7:31
Now I'm noticing there's a couple eagle-eyed viewers in the audience,
7:35
and they're looking at my computer
7:36
and they're going, "Something's up, something's up."
7:39
You're going, "Alan, where the heck is your toolbar?"
7:43
Or dock. Some people call it dock. I call it a toolbar.
7:46
"Where's your toolbar?" Well, guess what.
7:48
My computer doesn't have a toolbar.
7:51
Why? I'm not addicted to my toolbar.
7:55
You think America's got an obesity problem?
7:58
You think we have a fentanyl problem? Folks, we have a toolbar problem.
8:01
Stop using your toolbar.
8:03
There is room for everything you need right here on the desktop.
8:06
(Laughter)
8:15
This is silly.
8:18
This is my --
8:20
My girlfriend,
8:22
my ex-girlfriend, actually, made this for me.
8:24
(Laughter)
8:25
And, uh...
8:27
I don't know, it's silly, but I like to look at it.
8:30
It makes me happy to see this,
8:31
so I --
8:33
(Sighs)
8:34
I keep it on my desk while I work.
8:37
But, uh --
8:39
Yeah.
8:41
No, no, it's, um --
8:44
It's not in the computer.
8:48
Yet! But literally anything can be saved to your desktop.
8:51
All you have to do is rig up a camera around a bucket at 90 degrees.
8:56
You're going to want to fill the bucket with black water
8:58
and paint your beloved object white.
9:00
And here's what you do. It's really easy.
9:02
You submerge the object in the water and film yourself as you pull it up,
9:06
recording its topology through time.
9:07
You're going to get the topology of every axis, axes, axi.
9:10
And once you have the axis data, all you have to do is boolean the axis.
9:14
You’re going to end up with an OBJ file that’s super high quality,
9:17
you can render in an infinite quality of lighting conditions.
9:20
And then there's only one thing left to do.
9:22
What are we going to do?
9:23
(Audience) Save it to your desktop.
9:25
AR: Yes. Oh my God. Save it to your desktop!
9:27
Yes! Woo! If you do this,
9:29
you will always have the things you want and need and love,
9:32
and you will know exactly where to find them.
9:34
You never have to be lonely again.
9:36
You will be happy and people will love you.
9:38
Listen, if you don't have organizational skills and desktop skills,
9:42
I'm sorry, folks, you're not going to get that job.
9:45
Your data, it's going to be leaking on the floor.
9:48
People are going to be slipping. They're going to be slipping on your data.
9:52
You can say "bye-bye" to your kids.
9:53
They're going to be living on their desktops.
9:56
Mark my words, in one year's time, people will literally be,
10:00
blah, blah, blah, blah, talking to their computers.
10:02
Whoa. In two years, people are going to be walking around
10:05
with glasses so powerful they're never going to need to come home.
10:08
And in three years' time,
10:11
computers will have gotten so small
10:12
they will literally fit on a piece of breakable glass.
10:18
(Groans)
10:21
(Crack)
10:22
Whew! OK. Thank you so much.
10:24
My name is Alan Resnick.
10:26
I really hope that helped. You've been incredible.
10:28
I love you so much. Good night. Thank you, thank you.
10:30
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
10:32
(Applause and cheers)
