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Trump Reinstates Fitness Test as Polls Reveal Americans Think He's Physically and Mentally Unfit - Video học tiếng Anh
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The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
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Trump Reinstates Fitness Test as Polls Reveal Americans Think He's Physically and Mentally Unfit
Trump Reinstates Fitness Test as Polls Reveal Americans Think He's Physically and Mentally Unfit
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Subtitles (369)
0:00
-Welcome everybody.
0:00
Welcome, welcome, welcome to "The Tonight Show."
0:04
This is it. You're here.
0:05
[ Cheers and applause ]
0:07
Thank you for watching.
0:08
This is fun. Today is Cinco de Mayo.
0:11
Yeah.
0:12
[ Cheers and applause ]
0:14
Cinco de Mayo, or as Kash Patel calls it,
0:16
take your tequila to work day. -Oh.
0:18
[ Laughter ]
0:20
-Well, guys, some news from Washington --
0:22
This morning, President Trump signed
0:24
a proclamation to officially bring
0:26
the Presidential Fitness Test back to schools.
0:30
Trump is very into fitness. [ Laughter ]
0:33
In fact, whenever somebody asked about the Epstein files,
0:35
he sprints out of the room.
0:37
He really does.
0:38
[ Laughter ]
0:39
[ Cheers and applause ]
0:47
But this is nice. Trump said that the fittest kids will get
0:50
to come to the White House and help build the ballroom.
0:52
Isn't that nice? [ Laughter ]
0:55
Trump signed the proclamation in the Oval Office
0:57
alongside a group of children. Let's see how that went.
1:00
-It was a rigged election.
1:01
And I said, "Well, I'll do it again.
1:03
I had the ultimate poll. I did so well."
1:06
A Republican -- I would say that Republicans
1:08
were not too big in the Kennedy family.
1:10
The Middle East would have been gone,
1:12
Israel would have been gone, and they would have trained
1:14
their sights on Europe first and then us.
1:17
-Just -- Just say 6-7 and get it over.
1:21
Come on, be nice.
1:24
The kids are like, "Well, this could have been an e-mail."
1:25
Come on. [ Laughter ]
1:27
Meanwhile, a new poll just found
1:28
that most Americans think Trump is mentally
1:30
and physically unfit to serve effectively.
1:34
Well, at least he's rock solid emotionally.
1:35
[ Laughter ]
1:37
Speaking of mental fitness, Trump just talked about
1:41
how well he did on his recent cognitive tests.
1:43
Watch this.
1:45
-The first question is very easy and they always show
1:47
the first question -- is you have a lion,
1:50
a bear, an alligator,
1:52
and a -- What's another good -- A squirrel.
1:55
Okay? Which is the squirrel?
1:59
By the time you get to the middle, they're tough.
2:01
[ Laughter ]
2:04
-The middle. Yeah, you get a little tough.
2:06
That's where they ask you to identify your children by name.
2:09
[ as Trump ] I have no idea. [ Laughter ]
2:12
[ Normal voice ] Well, guys, we're in the 10th week of the war in Iran
2:15
and it hasn't been going well for President Trump.
2:17
Let's break down the situation.
2:19
The Strait of Hormuz is still blocked, which has limited
2:22
a lot of business transactions or as Trump calls them...
2:25
-Business "transhactions."
2:27
[ Laughter ]
2:32
-Also the military is running low on defensive missiles
2:35
or as Trump calls them...
2:36
-Defensive misses and missiles.
2:41
-Basically, after 10 weeks,
2:43
it's not going the way Trump suspected or,
2:45
as he says... -"Susbested."
2:47
[ Laughter ]
2:49
-It's been a major test for the members of our armed forces,
2:52
or as he calls them...
2:53
-The members of our armed "forciv."
2:55
And you understand that very well.
2:57
[ Laughter ]
3:00
-But Trump still claims we're winning despite these obstacles,
3:03
or as he put it...
3:04
-Despite these "obstas-karen."
3:06
[ Laughter ]
3:10
-Overall, it feels like Trump's presidency [laughs]
3:14
is losing a lot of momentum or as he calls it...
3:17
-"Momemtum." [ Laughter ]
3:20
-But together, America can do anything.
3:22
We just sent four astronauts around the moon
3:24
in that beautiful Orion space capsule,
3:26
or as he calls it...
3:28
-That beautiful Orion space "capsicle."
3:30
[ Laughter ]
3:37
-Anyway, no matter what happens, you know
3:39
Trump will still say he deserves the Nobel Peace Prize
3:41
or as he calls it...
3:43
-The Nobel Priest -- Well, you know this.
3:46
-I hope that helps.
3:47
[ Cheers and applause ]
3:51
-Wow.
3:54
-"Capsicle."
3:57
[ as Trump ] A capsicle.
3:58
-[ as Trump ] "Capsi-pickle." [ Laughter ]
4:00
-[ Normal voice ] Gosh.
4:02
Listen to this. According to a new report,
4:05
Trump is planning to deport hundreds of bison from Montana.
4:09
Meanwhile, raccoons without penises are like,
4:11
"Take us with you." [ Laughter ]
4:13
Speaking of RFK Jr.
4:16
[ Laughter ]
4:19
This is going viral.
4:20
He recently posted a photo from the Dulles Airport in D.C. --
4:23
this is real -- holding a bird that he claimed he rescued.
4:27
Take a look.
4:30
Looks like he's trying to rob a bank with a bird.
4:32
[ Laughter ]
4:34
Well, you know what they say.
4:36
A bird in the hand is worth two raccoon penises in your pocket.
4:38
[ Laughter ]
4:43
Switching gears, the Met Gala was last night,
4:45
and there were so many amazing looks.
4:47
Here to rate them is our Tonight Show fashion correspondent,
4:50
Oragon Von Mallamoothe. -Hello, Jimmy!
4:54
[ Cheers and applause ]
4:56
You look astronomically "aboravent" today.
5:00
Shoe with sock?
5:02
How dare you? I love it. Three maracas.
5:06
[ Maracas shake ]
5:08
-Thank you? -No time! The looks are afoot.
5:12
First up, Emma Chamberlain
5:14
melting into a horrible puddle of daffodil daydream.
5:18
This is floor-length room service.
5:20
And my tiny little belly is about to pop.
5:23
Say yes to the dress,
5:25
but the dress ain't listening.
5:27
Three maracas.
5:29
[ Maracas shake ]
5:31
[ Laughter ]
5:33
-Wait, wait. Is that -- Is that good or bad?
5:36
-Sorry baby.
5:38
Fashion waits for no man and Beyoncé waits for no stan.
5:43
This ooky-spooky lookie has a bone to pick.
5:47
And I say put it back...
5:50
on the shelf so you can hold these flowers.
5:53
Come get your crown, queen,
5:55
'cause the Bey in apartment 23 is next on ABC.
6:00
[ Pop! ] Three maracas.
6:02
[ Maracas shake ]
6:07
-You're giving everything three maracas.
6:09
-Until now! Knock, knock.
6:13
Who's there? Colman Domingo.
6:16
Sleeves in May?
6:18
2009 called. It said happy new year.
6:22
Two maracas. [ Maracas shake ]
6:25
And one for the road. [ Maracas shake ]
6:27
[ Laughter ]
6:30
-Is that a lot of maracas or not very many maracas?
6:33
-Let me make this real simple for you, Jimmy.
6:38
Chase Infiniti -- This fleur-de-leur burza-burr
6:42
and makes it purr 'cause kitty cat don't sat where the bat
6:46
don't crack.
6:47
If you want to be my lover,
6:49
you got to wabba-dabba the rubber-baba mama-llama.
6:53
Three maraca-lakas.
6:55
[ Maracas shake ]
6:57
-You're not even saying words anymore.
6:59
-'Cause fashion isn't about words.
7:02
It's about feeling.
7:04
Come on. Rate my outfit.
7:08
Don't think. Just feel it.
7:12
-Three maracas? [ Laughter ]
7:15
-[ Gasps ]
7:17
How dare you!
7:20
-Oragon Von Mallamoothe, everyone.
7:23
-Raba-baba-badaba-laba ba-mama-lama.
7:27
[ Cheers and applause ]
7:30
-Wow.
7:33
The three maracas.
7:36
Well, I saw that Netflix is launching a new
7:38
vertical video feature to compete with TikTok.
7:40
-Oh. -Yeah.
7:41
You can swipe through
7:42
and watch short-form clips of their content.
7:44
There's even a vertical version of "Is It Cake?"
7:47
Let's check it out. -Ooh!
7:48
-That is cake.
7:50
-There you go. -Oh.
7:51
[ Laughter ]
7:56
And finally, guys, it was a huge win
7:58
at the Garden last night.
7:59
The New York Knicks took Game 1
8:01
against the Philadelphia Sixers.
8:04
Yes!
8:06
Go Knicks!
8:08
[ Cheers and applause ]
8:09
Well, we wanted to have some fun with Knicks fans,
8:13
so we sent our writer Dion down there
8:15
and challenged him to get fans to say random words.
8:18
He couldn't say the word himself or directly ask them to say it.
8:20
Let's see how it went. This is "Repeat After Me."
8:27
-Jimmy, we're down here at the world's most famous arena,
8:29
and we're going to talk to some of the fans
8:31
about the NBA semifinals.
8:33
Let's go.
8:34
What do the Knicks have to do to be victorious tonight?
8:37
-I mean, they got to keep playing
8:39
like they were playing the last game.
8:41
You know, KAT no fouls.
8:42
Hopefully another triple double.
8:43
-That's correct. And what game are they playing?
8:47
-They're, uh --
8:49
I mean the game --
8:50
It's the best one.
8:52
-What about the literal name of the game
8:53
that they're playing? -Basketball.
8:55
-It all starts on the defensive end.
8:57
-I love how confident you are.
8:58
They got to stick on 'em, right?
9:00
-Yeah, they do.
9:01
-Like that, uh -- Like, um -- Oh, what is it?
9:03
That material that really sticks?
9:05
-Like glue.
9:06
-Like glue, but it makes a sound when it sticks.
9:10
-Velcro. -KAT needs to go off.
9:12
KAT needs to play with that New York, that defense.
9:15
-I'm so glad you said "go off"
9:17
because "OFF," you know, "OFF" that you spray.
9:20
-"OFF," yeah, the mosquitoes.
9:22
-Your wife just went to where? -Paris.
9:24
-What's that bread that they make there?
9:26
-I'll tell you what it is. Focaccia.
9:27
-The Sixers give me the -- the --
9:30
What is it called when you get the--
9:31
-Heebie jeebies.
9:32
-There's like an ocean animal that I'm thinking of
9:34
when I do this with the flaccid play, you know?
9:36
What is that --
9:38
What is that in the water all the time? The...
9:40
-What, a jellyfish?
9:42
-Yes exactly.
9:43
-Knicks are hot, baby. Yeah.
9:45
-Compare their hotness to something else.
9:46
Like maybe something you cook with.
9:48
-Buffalo wings.
9:49
-But what kind of a device might you cook them in?
9:53
-Um...stove. -Stove.
9:56
Grill. Oven.
9:57
-The one that blows real hot. -Hot.
9:59
-Like, what kind of appliance blows really hot?
10:01
-Oven.
10:03
-Barbecue. -Grill.
10:05
-One that blows directly down onto the food and cooks it.
10:08
-Microwave. Microwave.
10:11
-Let's go, Knicks!
10:12
-You know, I feel like -- One more thing --
10:14
I just feel like a victory would be, like,
10:16
what is the phrase I'm looking for?
10:17
It's like... Maybe you remember it, uh,
10:20
from like Colonel Sanders.
10:21
You remember they would say of the chicken, it was...
10:23
-Finger lickin'? Finger lickin' good.
10:25
-Yes. -Let's go, Knicks.
10:27
-And what is the best thing
10:29
to have to eat alongside of that Philly cheesesteak?
10:32
-A beautiful, beautiful Coca-Cola.
10:34
-You don't know what's going to happen next.
10:36
Like on that -- Well, I can never think of the name of it.
10:38
That one show on HBO. It's a series.
10:40
It's crazy. There are hotels and stuff.
10:42
-Oh, "White Lotus." Is that what you're--
10:45
-Yes, that is exactly.
10:46
-What way is "White Lotus" like the New York Knicks?
10:48
-To a soft drink, what would you compare them to?
10:51
-Coca-Cola. We're the best in the game.
10:53
-Now if you had to compare them to a green soft drink,
10:55
what would it be? -Mountain Dew.
10:57
-All right, so actually, I won two free tickets.
11:00
-And you just bounced over here from there?
11:02
-Right over here.
11:03
-Yeah, like, just like, what's that noise
11:05
that it makes when you bounce down the street?
11:06
-I was like, "boing, boing, boing!"
11:08
You know? -That's crazy, man.
11:09
That's all from the Garden.
11:11
Back to you, Jimmy.
11:12
-Not bad, Dion. Nine out of 12.
11:15
[ Cheers and applause ] We have a great show.
11:16
Give it up for The Roots, ladies and gentlemen.
11:18
-♪ Yeah, up steps that one and only in the flesh ♪
11:21
♪ Senegalese, Sierra Leonean, fresh to death, big homie ♪
11:24
♪ And perhaps the best, y'all know me from somewhere ♪
11:27
♪ Now respect the Questo ♪
11:29
-Ah! Very good.
11:31
Welcome, welcome, welcome to "The Tonight Show," everybody.
11:33
-I want to mention some exciting news.
11:35
We have some big guests coming up -- from the Rolling Stones,
11:37
Mick Jagger, Keith Richards, and Ronnie Wood
11:40
will all be here on the show. [ Cheers and applause ]
11:43
Mick -- Mick is on tomorrow night,
11:46
Keith is on Thursday, and then Ronnie is on next Wednesday.
11:49
They have a new album out July 10th called "Foreign Tongues."
11:53
It's fantastic. We'll be talking to them about that.
11:54
Lots of fun stuff planned. I cannot wait.
11:56
It's Rolling Stones Week on "The Tonight Show."
11:59
The Stones! [ Cheers and applause ]
12:01
"Foreign Tongues."
12:04
That was a great game last night.
12:05
Uh sorry Roots but...
12:07
-Agh. [ Laughs ]
12:09
-Roots are from Philly.
12:10
But the Knicks won 137-98.
12:13
[ Cheering ] 137. Yeah, it was great!
12:16
I went to the game.
12:18
I was lucky enough to get tickets to the game.
12:20
So, I went last night, and it happened again.
12:22
They gave me -- they upgraded my seats.
12:24
'Cause I'll take any seat, I'll go anywhere.
12:26
But they go, "Oh, you want to sit courtside?"
12:28
I go, "I'm okay." They go, "Yeah, you should do it."
12:30
I go, "I'm fine." They go, "No."
12:32
Then they put me -- they put me next to the team.
12:34
[ Audience oohs ] It's stressful.
12:36
It's -- [ Laughter ]
12:38
I don't know what to do. I'm hearing play calls.
12:40
I'm hearing the coach yell at the players
12:42
and they're yelling at -- I mean, it's too inside.
12:44
I don't like it. It frightens me.
12:45
And I'm right next to them.
12:47
They're standing right there, like...
12:48
-Make you feel tiny.
12:49
-Yeah. They're big athletes. Yeah.
12:51
Even the referees are big.
12:53
I mean, the referee's, like, butt was in my face
12:55
for, like, the whole game, right there.
12:57
I mean, I was just, like, sitting there like,
12:58
I don't want to get in anyone's way or do anything.
13:00
So, I don't make eye contact.
13:02
I don't look at the Knicks
13:03
because they've all been on the show.
13:04
Jalen Brunson's been on a bunch of times,
13:06
KAT has been on a bunch of times,
13:08
Josh Hart has been on the show many times.
13:11
Super fun guy, and cool.
13:13
But I don't want to distract him and have him go like,
13:15
"Hey, how you doing?" You know?
13:16
But Josh Hart is just fun and he's cool.
13:19
So, he came up to me and was like, "What's up?"
13:21
Shook my hand...
13:23
[ Laughter ]
13:24
I didn't want anything to do with it.
13:25
Just go play the game and win.
13:27
And so, anyways, the game is playing,
13:29
they're winning, and then this happens to me.
13:31
Watch this.
13:32
-Three minutes left in this third.
13:34
Look at Josh Hart.
13:36
You know, he's always known as a jokester,
13:38
and goes right up to the ultimate jokester, Jimmy Fallon,
13:41
and says "Yeah, let me let me help you out with that."
13:42
Unties his shoe.
13:44
That was a quick retie by Fallon.
13:46
[ Cheers and applause ] -He untied my shoe.
13:51
It's the best move ever, dude, he leaned down,
13:54
I thought he was fixing stuff on his --
13:56
He went down and just untied my shoe.
13:58
[ Laughter ]
13:59
And walked off.
14:01
Man, it just made me laugh.
14:03
And now, I'm just going to know, from now on,
14:05
I'm just going to wear cowboy boots to the Knicks games.
14:07
Yeah. Go, Knicks! Thank you, Josh.
14:09
Guys, stick around. We'll be right back
14:10
with "The Tonight Show" "Four Shot Jackpot"!
14:13
Here we go. This is good.
