When Children Leave Home, Parents Face a New Challenge

A woman's daughter left for the UK to study. After the car was out of sight, the father went home. He said, 'Now I'm really not working.'

A 50-year-old woman came home from work and called out to her daughter. But her daughter was 10,000 kilometers away, studying.

Many families change when children go to university or study abroad. Children start their own lives, and parents must get used to a new normal.

This change can cause the empty nest syndrome.

Over 250,000 Vietnamese students are studying abroad, according to UNESCO and the Ministry of Education.

Dr. Hoang Phuong says this phase is necessary for children to be independent and for parents to redefine their lives.

Phuong Hao helped many students study abroad, but when her own son left, she felt the change. Her life didn't change much because her daughter was still home.

She would watch videos of her son playing football and felt sad when she saw a boy wearing the same shirt as her son.

The real crisis came when her daughter also left for the UK.

Phuong Hao says, 'Every day I open the door, I face the silence.'

To feel less empty, she turns on all the lights and opens all the bedroom doors when she gets home.

Sometimes she rushes to her daughter's room, forgetting she's not there.

A parent hugs their child before the university exam.

Missing them often comes with anxiety.

Many parents stay up late to see if their child is online.

One of Hao's clients panicked when her child was offline for 11 hours.

Quang Khai and his wife were anxious when their daughter's phone was stolen and when the internet was cut off.

Phuong says parents feel an 'identity crisis' when their child leaves.

For decades, taking care of their child was their main purpose.

Years of close involvement can create a 'role addiction', making parents feel lost when children don't need them.

In many Asian cultures, this feeling is stronger because parents build their lives around their children.

Phuong Hao saw her children off at the airport.

This is a transitional phase for the whole family.

Children must also help their parents let go.

Minh Thanh's mother tracked his schedule and sent care packages.

He felt stifled and asked his father for help.

His mother started yoga and made new friends, filling the psychological void.

Phuong says parents need courage to 'break their addiction to control'.

Parents should support children and then step back.

Allowing children to make mistakes builds their psychological resilience.

Hao's son completed his master's, and her daughter got straight A's.

Khai's daughter organized her studies and life abroad.

Hao found a new balance and realized she needed to take care of herself.

She tells her children to be tidy and independent, setting an example.

Hao learned that when children leave, parents must learn to be independent too.

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