After finishing a maternity‑cover contract, the author – a manager then aged 43 – received feedback from two colleagues in their 20s and one in her early 30s. They had expected her, as a woman in her 40s, to be “stuffy and stern”, but later admitted they were wrong.

Four years later a recruiter contacted her for a senior role. When the author mentioned she was 41, the recruiter’s tone changed and explained that the client insisted on a younger candidate, effectively closing the opportunity.

Psychotherapist Gabrielle‑Beth Volovsky explains, “People naturally organise social information into categories. This helps us process a complicated environment quickly, but it can also lead us to mistake a shortcut for an accurate understanding of the individual.”

Yasmin Bentgen, a financial adviser in her 30s, says she stopped sharing her age because once people know the number, they instantly shift their assumptions about her competence. Stylist Ho Chuen Lai, now in her 40s, adds that age‑guessing often brings hidden judgments about a woman’s appearance and vitality.

These stories show how age bias can limit career chances, affect how women present themselves, and shape their confidence. Whether a woman chooses to reveal or hide her age, the decision is often driven by the fear of being judged by a single number rather than her abilities. As she approaches 45, the author still shares her age, but now sees it as a personal choice rather than a badge of honesty.