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The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
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Trump Threatens Missile Shortage "Leakers" After Snapping at Hegseth, U.S. Nears Hormuz Deal
Trump Threatens Missile Shortage "Leakers" After Snapping at Hegseth, U.S. Nears Hormuz Deal
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Subtitles (249)
0:00
-Welcome everybody.
0:02
Welcome, welcome, welcome to "The Tonight Show."
0:04
You're here! That's right!
0:06
[ Cheers and applause ] Thank you for watching.
0:09
Well, guys, some big political news.
0:11
The U.S. and Iran have both confirmed
0:12
that they're close to a deal
0:14
that would reopen the Strait of Hormuz.
0:17
[ Cheers and applause ]
0:21
That's the good news.
0:22
The bad news is it's been closed for so long,
0:24
it's now called the Spirit Halloween of Hormuz.
0:26
-Oh.
0:29
-Trump's excited about the deal.
0:31
He's about to hang a huge victory banner reading
0:33
"Everything is back to how it was before I got involved."
0:35
And it's really...
0:37
Speaking of the Iran war, it just came out
0:39
that during a recent Cabinet meeting,
0:40
President Trump lashed out at Pete Hegseth
0:42
over the military's missile shortage.
0:45
And I guess Hegseth thought we had more missiles
0:47
than we actually did.
0:49
In Hegseth's defense, when he looks at anything,
0:51
he sees double, so, you know...
0:54
Meanwhile, today, Trump denied reports
0:55
that the U.S. is running low on missiles
0:57
and said that leakers of that story are "being hunted down."
1:00
[ Laughter ]
1:02
Well, we know one thing.
1:04
They're not being hunted by missiles.
1:05
We don't have 'em.
1:08
Right now Trump is dealing with leaks and shortages,
1:11
which is actually pretty normal for an 80-year-old man.
1:13
I...
1:15
[ Laughter ]
1:17
♪♪
1:21
And did you hear this? Did you hear this?
1:23
Trump is building a helipad on the White House lawn.
1:26
And after weeks of construction, he said he was unhappy with it,
1:29
so workers had to jackhammer the whole thing and start over.
1:33
Forget about a ballroom.
1:34
Trump can't even build a parking space.
1:36
I mean, what's...
1:38
Well, the midterms are coming up, and I saw
1:40
that North Carolina Congressman Chuck Edwards just announced
1:43
that he won't run for re-election
1:44
after an ethics review found that he behaved unprofessionally
1:47
and inappropriately while in Congress.
1:49
Edwards just put out a statement. Take a look.
1:59
[ Laughter ]
2:02
Then Congressman Shri Thanedar said...
2:10
Then Congresswoman Ann Wagner said...
2:17
And Congressman Mike Rogers said...
2:24
And Congressman Michael McCaul said...
2:32
And Congresswoman Rosa DeLauro said...
2:39
And Congressman Chip Roy said...
2:44
And Congresswoman Frederica Wilson said...
2:51
Then Congressman Glenn Grothman said...
2:57
And finally, Congressman Keith Self said...
3:02
They just kept misspeaking all the way through.
3:04
[ Cheers and applause ]
3:08
Well, switching gears, I saw that Barbra Streisand
3:10
is releasing her first children's book.
3:12
-Ooh. -Yeah. The book has an interesting title.
3:14
It's called "Don't Let the Pigeon Make Eye Contact with me."
3:19
-Wow!
3:20
[ Laughter ]
3:23
-Some business news.
3:24
After Chipotle stopped selling jalapeños
3:26
during the concerns about salmonella,
3:28
Qdoba did the same thing.
3:30
-Ooh. -Yeah, it makes sense because
3:31
Qdoba gets their jalapeños
3:33
from the dumpster behind Chipotle.
3:35
[ Laughter ]
3:38
Meanwhile, following the lettuce parasite outbreak,
3:41
Salad and Go has filed for bankruptcy.
3:43
-Ohh. -"Salad and Go"
3:46
pretty much explains the outbreak, doesn't it?
3:48
[ Laughter ]
3:51
Well, because of the lettuce parasite outbreak,
3:53
more American shoppers are ditching supermarkets
3:55
for farmer's markets.
3:57
Here with more on this is a real farmer's market vendor
3:59
from Riverhead, New York, Ed Washburn.
4:00
Welcome to the show, Ed.
4:02
-Hey there, Jimmy. Thank you for having me.
4:05
-Uh, so you run Ed's Pickles over at the farmer's market.
4:09
Is that right? -Sure is, Jimmy.
4:12
I make the freshest pickles in the Northeast.
4:15
Let me show you one, Jimmy, so you can see that snap.
4:18
-[ Chuckles ] Uh, sure.
4:21
-Here we go.
4:23
[ Grunting ] Here she comes.
4:26
[ Grunting ] One sec.
4:30
[ Grunting ]
4:34
-Ed, Ed, Ed. You good? Ed. Ed.
4:37
Are you okay, bud? -Yeah. I'm good. Sorry.
4:39
Just sometimes they're a little tough to open.
4:41
-Yeah. That's--
4:42
-[ Grunting wildly ]
4:44
-Uh-- Hey--
4:46
-[ Grunting wildly ]
4:48
[ grunting ]
4:50
-Ed! Ed! Ed! Ed!
4:51
Don't hurt yourself there, buddy.
4:54
-Gah!
4:55
Okay. You're right. Sorry.
4:57
I'll stop with the pickles. You know...
4:59
[ Panting ]
5:01
-[ Laughs ]
5:03
I think you passed yourself out there, Ed.
5:05
[ Laughter ]
5:07
-I sell other stuff.
5:09
-You do? Yeah.
5:10
-I got salsa so fresh,
5:12
you can probably smell it through the TV.
5:13
Aaaaaaaaah!
5:15
-No, no. Ed. Ed. -Aaaaah!
5:17
-Ed, stop! Stop! I don't need to smell it through the TV.
5:19
I don't need to smell it through the--
5:21
God. You're gonna pass out.
5:22
-[ Gasps ] Oh, I love salsa!
5:26
[ Laughter ]
5:28
-Ed. Ed!
5:30
[ Cheers and applause ]
5:32
Ed!
5:33
-I loosened it. I loosened it!
5:35
Alright. Ed Washburn, everybody.
5:36
From a farmer's market.
5:39
[ Cheers and applause ]
5:44
Uh, did you guys see this?
5:46
KFC apologized after a customer
5:47
posted a video showing that his 50-piece
5:50
popcorn chicken bucket only had 35 pieces.
5:53
-Ohh. -Yeah.
5:54
The customer was like...
5:56
[as Trump] "You're being hunted down."
5:58
[ Laughter ]
6:00
He was missing 15 popcorn nuggets. Yeah.
6:02
Meanwhile, his Uber Eats driver was like,
6:05
[muffled] "Oh, that's so weird."
6:07
[ Laughter ]
6:09
"You should sue them!"
6:11
And finally, guys, it is Thursday.
6:13
It is time for WePost! Here we go!
6:15
-♪ WePost ♪
6:19
♪♪
6:20
♪ WePost ♪
6:22
-Welcome to WePost.
6:24
This is where we as a group decide
6:28
something that we should post on social media.
6:30
I'm gonna show you five different posts.
6:32
We're all gonna vote on whether you like each one or not.
6:34
You all have voting clickers at your seats.
6:36
You see them there? You can vote for all of these.
6:38
You can vote green if you like all of them.
6:40
Yeah. Why not? Or you can vote for none of them.
6:41
Whatever you feel like doing. I just want you to have fun.
6:43
Everyone has clickers.
6:45
Higgins, Roots, you guys have clickers?
6:46
Alright. Perfect. I'm gonna post
6:48
whichever one gets the most likes from all of us.
6:50
Because it's not a MePost. It's a WePost.
6:53
-Ohh!
6:55
-Alright. You guys ready?
6:56
[ Cheers and applause ] Alright.
6:58
The first post is...
7:04
Yeah. There you go.
7:06
I-I think that's deserved. -Yeah.
7:08
-Absolutely. -Yeah. If you clear it out.
7:10
-Yeah. -Respect to that one.
7:12
I like that. Alright. The votes are in.
7:14
Let's see the results here.
7:17
Not bad. 113-55. Alright. Not bad. Not bad.
7:21
Alright. Uh, they don't necessarily get better.
7:23
Here we go. The next one is...
7:32
"Wait. I remember that one Christmas.
7:33
I was thinking about putting it on...
7:35
Yeah, yeah. That's still here.
7:37
Has a picture of E.T. on it. Cool!"
7:39
Alright. Let's see the results on this one.
7:43
-Ohh! -Oh! Not bad!
7:45
-128.
7:46
-Still 55 said no. -Yeah. 55...
7:49
-Who knows if it's the same 55? Interesting.
7:52
-...Sammy Hagar. -Uh, alright.
7:53
Next one says...
8:00
♪♪
8:04
I think that-- That didn't get you?
8:06
-It does get me because-- -It tickled you a little bit?
8:08
-I mean, it tickled me a little bit,
8:10
but it also just feels like it's speaking directly to my life,
8:12
so I didn't think anyone else would be on board.
8:14
-But then did you hear the laughter from the audience
8:16
and understand that we're all in the same boat?
8:18
-Yeah, and it gives me-- it reminds me of my humanity.
8:21
-Proof of life. -Yeah.
8:24
-Alright. Let's see the results here.
8:27
That's what I'm talking about!
8:29
Wait. 61...
8:32
-Makes toilet-paper fantasies come true. Yeah.
8:34
-Yeah. 61 did not enjoy it.
8:36
-No. 6 more. -Yeah.
8:38
6 more people did not-- So it's growing.
8:40
-Yeah. The discontent is growing.
8:42
-The discontent is growing. Yeah. Yeah. Dissatisfaction.
8:44
-It was that same 55. -Definitely the same 55.
8:47
-Plus 6. -They're the "No 55."
8:49
They're, like, Thumbs Down 55.
8:50
We invited them to the show tonight, but then...
8:53
-They influenced 6 other people. -That's correct.
8:55
-More than 10%. -That's great. Alright.
8:57
Do we have two? Oh, we have two more. We have two more.
9:00
If you haven't voted yes, you got two more shots.
9:02
-Yeah. -That we're all gonna go--
9:04
I'm blaming all of you, so, yeah.
9:06
Alright. Alright. The next one is...
9:13
[ Laughter ]
9:16
-Ohh!
9:18
-Yeah, that one won. That won, right?
9:20
Dang. I don't even know why we'd do the other one.
9:22
Right? We shouldn't even do the other one.
9:24
-We shouldn't. -No.
9:25
Well, you know we got to see it.
9:27
-Yeah. Nah. -I want to see the results.
9:28
Yeah, but I'm almost guaranteeing...
9:30
I'm saying that number is down to like 20.
9:32
-You think the 20 nays?
9:34
-I think the 55 thumbs down'ers...
9:35
-Think they saw the light?
9:37
-They saw the light a little bit.
9:38
-That's humorous. -I'm gonna say it's in the 20s.
9:40
But alright. Let's see the results.
9:43
Ohh!
9:44
♪♪
9:47
I think end it right there. That's it.
9:48
We're gonna end it right there.
9:50
That's the one we're gonna post right there, everyone.
9:52
When you see that online, give that post a repost.
9:55
[ Cheers and applause ]
9:57
We have a great show.
9:58
Shane Gillis is here tonight!
10:01
[ Cheers and applause ]
10:03
Betty Gilpin is joining us!
10:06
[ Cheers and applause ]
10:08
And Role Model is here to talk and perform!
10:11
Stick around. We'll be right back with more "Tonight Show."
